I wish there was a way to describe the relationship between parents and their kids easily, but there really isn’t. I wish there was a way to categorize our parents so we could understand them a little better, but again there isn’t. It seems like from the beginning of time, there has been a disconnect between parents and their kids, and there is. There is a huge generational gap as technology and culture constantly evolve, but I think people often forget that our parents are people too.
Movies, tv, and we as the kids, love to vilify our parents. They force us to do things we don’t want to (like play piano for church when we absolutely hate it, be involved in every organization on the planet, go to a certain professional school, etc, etc) but they really do just genuinely want us to be happy.
Of course our parents are going to try to have us kids fulfill the things they regretted not doing in their lifetimes. Of course there are going to be times when they project their insecurities on us. Of course they are going to say the wrong things and respond the wrong way. Of course they are going to seem like complete assholes at times. And that’s because our parents suffer from insecurities, regrets, guilt, anger, random emotions just like we as the kids do. All we have to do is adjust our own individual scope, zoom out a little bit, and we’ll find that everyone around us, including our parents, suffer from a lot of the same things we do.
I’m not really sure if I’m expressing my point across as well as I’d like, but I try to empathize with my parents as much as I can. I’ve always wanted to be a parent so I sometimes like to think about what kind of parent I’d be like, how I’d raise or discipline my kids and all that. And the conclusion I’ve come to is: I have no freaking idea. I know I’ll love my kids and I’ll want them to be happy, but other than that, I’m kinda clueless.
Then I realized, I’m 21 years old, and my mom had my older brother when she was just a few years older than me. And I really don’t think I’m going to have some parental epiphany in the next 4 years that will give me all the answers on how to be a parent. So neither did my parents. They did the best they could with what they had.
Yes, they pushed me a little too hard, they were/are way too involved in my life, and they didn’t always give me space to breathe, but they tried. They did everything in their power to give my brother and I everything we needed. They provided for us and they loved us.
Parents don’t have all the answers. No one does. But mine tried. Mine showed me love, and because of that, one day I think I’ll make a good parent too.
So I just want to say, Thanks mom and dad. As much as you make me angry and want to pull out my hair, you make me realize how much I needed and still need you in my life. Thank you for trying everyday, even when I went through my emo phase and was really moody at any random moment.
I know you guys aren’t perfect, and I know you don’t have all the answers. But you tried, and I think Chach and I came out alright. (hopefully lol)
Tell your parents you love em, no matter how crazy they are.