Well, this should come as no surprise to my future self going back and reading these posts, but here goes. After a both wonderful and brutal year and a half, my medical school journey has come to end. I can go bore you with all the gory details, but I’m sure you can figure it out by reading my previous posts. What matters now is trying to figure out how to go forward. Hmm.. What do I like? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? And the million dollar question: **cue snooty interviewer voice** “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
Well, let me think about that. I am absolutely positive that I have absolutely no idea. (I also just realized I don’t know how to spell absolutely.) I should probably take an English course and get my run on sentence, word vomit act together……….but I’m poor and in debt. (YAY FOR PARENTS WHO HOUSE AND FEED AND TAKE CARE OF YOU).
The worst part of it all is imagining all the people who thought I wouldn’t be able to succeed. I’m picturing the smug look creeping over their face as it contorts into that oh so familiar patronizing stare that tells me “It’s okay. Medical school isn’t cut out for everyone.” So to all the people who are gearing up with that line in tow, please, take this sincere fuck you and gently direct your pity elsewhere.
I am an all-knowing, confused, pompous, inexperienced 23 year old. I am a little bit depressed. I am a lot grateful. I am lucky to have a family who has let me move back home. I am screwed because I owe Uncle Sam about 100k. I am kind of an asshole. In total, I represent the Blink 182 song where “No one likes you when you’re 23.” I think I’m an adult because I am post grad and a little more mature than 21 so I will consistently remind you how I don’t need your advice and am independent. I am also constantly reminded how I am actually not an independent adult as I am unemployed and have no idea where I’m headed in life.
It’s a confusing time, but it is one that I cherish. I am 23. I am young. I will get through this and I will get my act together. But until then, I’ve got another episode of Orange is the New Black to binge.
Stay tuned. But that’s all for today, folks.
“I don’t know where I’m going, but I know that I’m going.” -Me
YEAH! I MADE THAT QUOTE! SO WHAT?! It makes sense if you say it a bunch of times.