If I die before I wake…

Hm. Not to be overly morbid, but I just saw a post on Facebook for the funeral of someone who passed.

I talk to my parents about what I’d like in the event something happens, but it’s obviously not a topic anyone wants to talk about, so I figured I’d write it here.

A funeral is for the living, so I’d want my family and friends to do what gives them peace and comfort, but here are a few things I request.

  1. No pictures/video cameras/ live streams (of “me” or crying people. Feel free to snap pics of all the happy reunions). If you can’t attend, take your pick of things you can do:
    • Plant a tree
    • Drink/eat something delicious
    • Do something kind for someone else. Here are a few examples,
      • Say thank you.
      • Be courteous on a call to a service center.
      • Hold the door open for someone.
      • Be that person who makes awkward elevator small talk.
      • Ask someone how they’re doing and actually listen to their response.
      • Call someone you haven’t spoke to in a long time.
      • Tell the Publix cashier SCREW YOU when they ask if you want to donate a dollar to save the world. Just kidding. Kind of, but not really.
    • Tell the people you love that you love them. Literally, say the words out loud and feel free to have a long awkward moment.
  2. Don’t spend all sorts of money on things for the funeral. Donate to MSF or another charity in lieu of flowers. Save money on an elaborate casket and spend it on some good food/booze for the funeral.
  3. I’d like my family to plant a tree. I don’t know, but something about planting a tree or something that brings life into this world makes me realize that Life goes on and will continue once I’m gone. Or friends, feel free to make a crap ton of babies if you choose :)
  4. That’s about it. You can do whatever else you want. Have a party. Let the hoes that I used to know kiss me from my head to my toe. Give me a paper and pen so I can write about my life of sin. A couple bottles of gin in case I don’t get in… Oh wait, that’s for Tupac.

I’ve unfortunately been to many funerals in my life so far. It’s a weird feeling. While there is often close friends and family of the deceased grieving, there are distant relatives or old friends reuniting. How strange is it that the same moment can cause such sorrow but also joy?

If I learned anything from all the funerals I’ve attended is that nothing in life is guaranteed. There’s no “You’re supposed to go to college, get married, have kids.” All there is is what you’ve got. And all you can do is make the most of that. My life has had its ups and downs. In my 23 (almost 24) years of living, I’ve experienced love, friendships and heartbreak. I wouldn’t change any of it. I am grateful for every moment (even my crazy emotional ones where I write on here about how depressed I am). Those moments allow me to appreciate life in all its beauty and terror. Life was never supposed to be easy, nor do I ever want it to be. I want to work for it. I want to create it. I want to live. More than anything, I want to live and explore and love and all that cheesy nonsense. I hope that God and time and life allow me the chance to do that. And if my time is shorter than I’ve expected, then it’s been one hell of a ride.

Shoutout to all the people who make my life worth living. And an even more special shoutout to my beautiful best friend getting married on Saturday. Congratulations and I’m happy you’ve found the man you want to explore this world with. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.


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