Birthday: Year 5

Today is March 8, 2017. I have been 25 for one whole day. I have gleaned much experience as a 25 year old in these 24 hours. Just kidding. You might as well call me Jon Snow because I know nothing.

It’s actually getting difficult to write in here, but I was consistent for 4 years and I managed to miss this on my actual birthday yesterday (it was a HELL of a day, maybe one day I’ll write about it). What words of wisdom do I have to say for this one? It’s interesting, because as you get older and the more you learn, the more you realize how little you actually know.

It’s finals week (I’m in pharmacy school, guys! Who would’ve thought?), so my brain is a little scrambled. But this post will be dedicated to my friends who are reminding me what friendship is– my friends who make me feel like ass because I realized I have never in my life been a friend to someone the way they are to me– my friends who have been my rock through both the nightmares and wonders of being in your 20s and in professional school.

When I moved to Savannah, I wanted to keep my head down and just power through school. Blah blah blah failures, embarrassment, shame (you know the drill), but these girls wormed their way into my life and into my heart and I am a better person for it.

It’s been a quarter of a century and it’s been a fucking roller coaster. I often feel the panic bubbling inside because I am 25. I should be getting my affairs in order to settle down in a few years, but I feel so far from that. My brain is running a 1ooo miles/minute constantly, I don’t even know where I’ll be living in a few months, how am I supposed to know what I’ll be doing in 2 years? Marriage, kids, a family, my career, my parent’s happiness— All of this is looming over my head, and I have no answers. I have nothing to end this paragraph with to give me solace or closure because I’m going through this now in real time. I’m not editing a vlog a day later to create a storyline, this is LIVE STREAM, baby (let’s see how these references hold up with time).

Happy (belated) 25th birthday, Shay. (Is it weird that I write birthday posts to myself? Meh, just pretend someone wrote this for me and I’m not a crazy person. I have friends, I SWEAR. I’m not making these people up. I think. God, I hope not. Now, that would be a plot twist).

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