Every year, I talk about the low points in the previous year and how the next will be better. Well, now, I’m older and now, I know better. The next year will not be better. The lowest of low points are still yet to come. I know I will hit a new rock bottom sometime in this coming year. But I also know that I will get through it.
Life is funny and life is hard. But life is also pretty fucking great. Things aren’t perfect or what I thought they would be when I was young and naive day-dreaming about the future– when I was young and naive making plans as if I had some control over them. And the reason why life is funny: Here I am, at 26, doing the same thing for 36 and 46 and all the years I hope are to come when I know the plans I make now won’t damn well mean a thing.
I have so much more to learn. I have so much more to grow. I am all of my failures, but I am also all of my successes. I am a little bit of a slut and I’m also a little bit of a prude. I am an asshole, but I am also kind and caring. I can not be reduced to one thing or one moment. And as always, I am eternally grateful for the people who give me a chance through all of those moments.
Happy 26th birthday.